


Without a Word

by Sauric



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fluff, Languages of Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2020-08-24
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:13:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26088493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sauric/pseuds/Sauric
Summary: Prompt:I verbally express affection. A LOT.My husband....doesn't. I don't know why. For the longest time, part of me wondered if it meant he loved me less.At some point, I told him about a thing I did as a kid. Holding hands, three squeezes means, "I love you."Suddenly, he's telling me I Love You all the time.Holding my hand, obviously, but also randomly.taptaptapOn my hand, my shoulder, my butt, my knee, whatever body part is closest to him, with whatever part of him is closest to me.All the time.More often than I ever verbally said it.It's an ingrained signal now, I can tap three times on whatever part of him, and get three taps back in his sleep. Apparently I do the same.It's made a huge difference for us.People say things differently.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 8
Kudos: 78





	Without a Word

Cas is having doubts about their marriage because Dean NEVER tells him he loves him. It's been a constant source of arguing between them, to the point that sometimes Cas wonders if it's worth his time. If Dean really cares.

One night while they're watching the news, drinking beer and eating burgers, Cas puts down his burger and clears his throat. Dean pauses, mid-bite, to look up at him before putting his own burger down and swallowing his current bite with a swig of beer. "What's up, Cas?"

Cas looks down into his lap, fiddling with his napkin for a moment before glancing back up again. "I was just thinking. About when I was a kid, and it was me and Gabriel against the world. He used to hold my hand because he was my big brother, you know?"

Dean shrugs, but he knows. He is a big brother, after all. He hated it when Sam got too big to have to hold his hand, even if he'd never admit it out loud.

Cas goes on, after a moment more of hesitation. "We'd squeeze each other's hands all the time. Just three quick ones. To say 'I love you'. It meant a lot to me. Let me know I wasn't so alone, since our father was busy all of the time."

Dean smiles a little half smile, nods. "Yeah. We big brothers gotta look out for our kid brothers, after all." And that's all he says before he goes back to eating, even though he steals a few glances at Cas throughout the rest of the night.

Cas tries to put it out of his mind, Dean's silence. It hurts, even when Dean hands him his toothbrush that night, the perfect amount of toothpaste already on the brush. They brush, and floss, and rinse. And then...Dean's elbow nudges against his softly. Three times. Cas's head whips around, eyes wide, but Dean isn't looking at him, acting like nothing happened. Cas frowns, sighs internally.

They lie in bed that night, bodies entwined close, Cas the big spoon to Dean's little spoon, and Dean's fingers brush softly over Cas's hand where it's wrapped over Dean's middle. Again, three times. Cas tenses for a moment, and then forces himself to relax, nosing against the back of Dean's neck. "I love you, Dean," he says quietly, and again, three soft brushes against the back of his hand come in response.

When Cas wakes the next morning, Dean has turned during the night and is sprawled over him, one thigh between his and one hand clutching at Cas's hip. He shifts, Dean nuzzling into his throat as his hand tightens on Cas, again, three times.

When they're getting dressed and Dean is helping to tie Cas's tie straight under his chin, he catches a small smile on Dean's face as he feels fingertips tap against the side of his throat, three times.

And when they're making breakfast, Dean's hand cups his elbow as he passes behind him, three quick squeezes before he moves on. And again when he hands him a full travel mug, coffee exactly the way he likes it. And again, on his wrist, as Dean kisses him goodbye and watches him leave for work.

Even on their lunch break while they talk and eat, Cas can swear he hears a series of three taps from the other end of the phone.

That evening, while they make dinner and dessert, Dean cops a feel of Cas's ass, which isn't unusual, but what is, is the fact that it's three pats instead of the usual squeeze as Cas bends over to check the pie he put in the oven. Three squeezes on the shoulder after dinner as Dean comes to take his plate to wash dishes. Three nudges against Cas's thigh with Dean's knuckles as they watch a movie on the couch. Three pokes in the side as Dean quotes a favored line from the movie. Three pats on the knee as Dean stands to fold their blanket and turn out the light.

That night, they lie facing one another, tangled together in the sheets, Dean's hands stroking down Cas's spine in series of three, when he speaks up, so quietly, Cas almost misses it. "I know I ain't so good with words, Cas, but I hope you know."

Cas pushes his face against Dean's neck, pressing three kisses against Dean's collarbone, and Dean's hand lands on the back of his neck, three quick squeezes. Cas nods. He knows.


End file.
